Thoughts on cynicism

Cynicism becomes me. What can I say? I am unsure if I should feel guilty about it, or if I should embrace my inner cynicism, ask God to channel it, and make me the most cut throat, acid-tongued evangelist crusader for Christ ever? Probably the latter because, when confronted by trials and tribulations that life brings, I'll just compare them to an awful song by Sandi Patti or Twila Paris, etc. and laugh my way out of them.

"This situation sucks, but at least I have Twila's 'God is in control' to listen to."










"Man, church was lame today. The crowd was smaller than Sandi Patti's last tour."











"I feel very embarassed today. At least I'm not as embarassing as Avalon."








"Work was so boring today. I felt like I was listening to Susan Ashton's latest."










"I had a really tough decision to make today. At least I didn't have to decide between listening to BeBe or CeCe."


I find myself in that place of life now. . .

Maybe it's just that life isn't easy - life is full, busy, and things don't always go how I hope they would. True.

Maybe it's that Christian music is that easy to rip on. True.

Maybe I am wicked to the core. True.

Maybe I should repent. True.

Maybe THEY should repent for making me feel the way I do. DOUBLE TRUE.

Guilt comes creeping at the doorway of my heart, threatening me with thoughts of losing God's blessing for thinking such thoughts about His followers and those that obviously have larger ministries than me. But. . . .I slam the door in its face. Why? Because I identify all of the above with religious culture; culture responsible for people I know who say things like "I am teaching my kids to be good people to earn God's blessing." People who ridicule homosexuals for being sinners while ignoring their own sin. People who ignore the need for change in church, thinking that everything is fine the way it's been, while a new generation is ignored, and subsequently blamed, for the church's decline. I call it like I see it. Cynicism?

Yes, I am cynical. May God use it as an agent of change and forgive me for the rest.

Thoughts on friendship

You know what's sad? A 27 year old man being sleepy at 8:30.

I have just gone through a whirlwind hour of being with my two boys. Typically they have energy to spare....tonight, they could power my whole home if we could somehow harness their energy. Maybe if I built two big hampster wheels and put them in a cage.....hmmm. I knew it was especially bad tonight when they started making up words and yelling them. Micah, in a fit of energetic joy, put two collectors edition DVD cases on his hands, went out on the deck and pounded the glass. He came inside and said "dad, did you see my sussix sticks?"

"Your what?"

"My sussix sticks - I put them on my hands and they helped me."

"Ohhhh....wowwww!"

With that, I settle in at the iBook, ready to blog the evening away. I have my decaf starbucks house blend, made in a french press, cream currently blending itself into the coffee. Ahhh, this is a good evening.

Here's some thoughts from the past few days:

-I had a great time taking pictures at a wedding along with my lovely wife last Saturday for about 16 hours. It was, indeed, a long day. The wedding was a trip - most of the family was fully Hispanic. The music they liked ranged from Tupac's "California Love" to Los Jefes Del Ritmo (Mexican "polka" style music). And what an honor to get to take their pictures. They are full of smiles and joy - and man, hispanic people know how to party. It doesn't hurt that the wedding was sponsored by Bud Light (or could have been) and that more cans than I can count were consumed during the reception. . . .and after the ceremony. . . .and before the ceremony. . . .and early in the morning. I declined their invitation to have a beer - at 9:30 AM.

Anyways - Ash will post the pics from the wedding on her blog. I hope to have at least one that "makes the cut" and is displayed. That might be a stretch - anyone that's seen her blog lately knows that I have catching up to do.

-I am gaining more respect at work - having been "put in charge" of the crew for a day when the other bosses left town. I'm being "groomed" to be a manager in this company which is a good feeling - they believe in my potential. That helps me know that I'll have a job tomorrow unlike a lot of the guys I work with who get fired. Apparently, I'm a lot smarter than the other guys I work with - I just can't run machines like they can.

So I'm respected now. But with that respect comes the need to actually know the people that I work with. For instance, I found out that a co-worker of mine has a girlfriend. Actual conversation:

"So, you have a girlfriend?"
(In a slow southern drawl): "Yeeeah - she's got a stomach on her, but her legs are skinny."
(In my mind): "You have got to be kidding me. . . .is this guy for real? I didn't ask about her looks!?"

And - another conversation with the same guy:

Him: "Do you smoke?"
"No."
"That's good - it's a filthy habit." He takes a drag and blows it out his nose. "Yeeeah, I started after I had open heart surgery."
(In my mind): "You have got to be kidding me."

And - another comment by the same guy:

Him: "You know, all religions are pretty much based on catholicism."
(In my mind): ". . . . . . . ."

Lord beer me strength.

-I found out that I have "closet viewers", or, viewers who don't leave comments. They know who they are - and I know who they are (at least some of them). I expect this to change soon - and that they will know the liberating feeling of leaving a comment.

But, I'm up to like, 8 readers, or something like that. I can't even count all of them. . .on one hand. And wow, it's read WORLDWIDE! I got a phone call from an old friend this week who said he stayed up until after midnight laughing at John Daker. Moments like that make blogging worth it.

And I guess I get to thinking about how blessed I am to have the simple pleasure of friendship with you all - even though blogging might be a lame furthering of friendship (compared to sharing coffee and conversation). How much I care for each and every one of you, regardless of where you're at, when we spoke last, distance apart, etc. The truth is, you're all a gift to me, and I am so honored and blessed to share life with you guys. I am blessed to call you all my friends (or family depending on who's reading). I am blessed to know you guys. I know that life apart from you would be so much less fulfilling. You guys are the "great cloud of witnesses" here that I see cheering me on, that Hebrews 12 talks about.

So, readers in, and out of the closet (wait, did I just say that?), know you're loved in my heart. Know that I thank God for each of you, and that the door is always open - here at the house, or just that fake door over the phone or on the internet.

Thoughts on wonder

I worked a 13 hour day today - from dark to dark. Working a day like that, you can imagine I had some time to my thoughts. And what happens when I get lost in my thoughts? I BLOG!!! YAY!! Here we go.

As a Christian, I have grown very accustomed to the christiany language. Some examples:

"Pre-marital sex": THE cardinal sin for all young Christians. Never mind that when someone does have pre-marital sex, the entire youth group gossips about it. . . in the name of "prayer." Right.

"5-point calvinist": typically, it's the people in church that are in most need of having a beer. . . .a large beer.

"Courtship": what Christians do instead of dating. We have officially "Kissed Dating Goodbye." Thanks to Joshua Harris for making millions of Christian kids feel bad for having dating relationships.

"Church": the building where you go on Sundays.

"Worship": unlike the real definition of worship in the dictionary, in today's world, it's the part of the church service where you sing songs. Worship can be categorized into a few categories: "good", "okay", or "I didn't like it." The meaning of the word "worship" is completely different than the dictionary.

And like the above, Christian culture has re-defined the meaning of many words. And today, it bothered me greatly.

For one thing, we, as Christians, tend to repeat many of the same phrases over and over. We do not purposefully change the definition of words, but by liberally using many phrases, they have lost their potency. And what it's left us with is the loss of the gravity and depth of those words. Words like "awesome", "majestic", "glorious", "gracious", and "merciful" become mundane and stagnant when thrown around. Saying "God is majestic" can become simply a phrase.

And I came to thinking about all of the things that I take for granted in my world around me, mostly, the visible things. "God is wonderful", or full of wonder. The earth is His, and everything in it; the earth is filled with His wonders. And I take them for granted.

And so I, this week, have attempted to renew my awareness of the wonder of God's creation. Amidst the mundane, it remains: wondrous, perfect, mysterious. Just stop and look at the deep blue of the evening sky. Just stop and look - and know He is God.

That's where I'm at. . . .even as I spew diesel fumes into the air every day during the week.

Thoughts on increasing church attendance

Most everyone knows that I am the worship leader for a small church service here in Kansas City. It started in 2006 amongst a group of younger adults who longed for a service they could call "their own", and in turn, reach out to Kansas City.

It has not gone as we'd hoped.

I am being very frank and honest here which is difficult considering that I am a very very large part of the makeup of the service. Therefore, much of the "blame" for why the service hasn't worked, I place squarely on my own shoulders.

"Perhaps my voice just wasn't good enough."
"I just couldn't build a committed band."
"I just didn't choose the right songs."
Blah blah blah. Attacks - I really know that's all that those things are - but nonetheless, this blog is called "just my thoughts" and those ARE my thoughts.

As numbers have dipped to new lows, my heart sinks along with it. Spiritually dry, I find myself longing to be out from behind the mic, somewhere able to worship Christ without the constant thinking about "change the chord NOW" or "I hope the power point is in the right order" or "sheesh, I guess nobody likes this song. . . ." True, it seems that my heart is linked to the attendance of the service.

With all of this in mind, something I saw out front of a church the other day really caught my attention. No, it wasn't a church bilboard proclaiming God's wrath on our sinful humanity. It was worse. The banner rolled out in front of this church (I don't know the name) said:

"Voted best place in the southland to worship."

WHAT THE?? Who voted? Their own congregation? How did this church win? And what kind of IDIOT puts a banner out front of your church saying that you're the best? I can only figure these things:

-They truly are "the best." They worship better than other churches. They use only the finest songs, the finest singers, the most talented dancers, ALL of the instruments. . . .and God truly IS happier.
-It really is the best place to worship in the southland. This could mean a few things:
-Heated leather massage chairs for congregants to sit in while making a joyful noise. The massages could evoke some new joyful noises like "ooooooh" and "aaaaaaaaah". . . or "man I had such a hard week, but the Holy Spirit worked out the kinks. . . .praise Jesus - this IS the best place to worship."
-Free catered lunch every Sunday.
-Free church "Giveaways" and door prizes like "first fifty people that come get an iPod".

What disgusts me most about the sign is the blatant propaganda this church is using to attract new visitors. And how sad! Instead of an inviting place because Christ's followers go there and have brought them in, they are resorting to the gimmicks that fast food restaurants use. Strip-mall church - come and see. . . .why the worship here is the best. It makes me sick.

But the harder part about it is that it convicts me deeply of my own wickedness in this area. I want to sell people Jesus like a store sells goods and services. But He is not a product to be sold. He is God.

I want the gospel to be a pretty, neat package. I want to tell people - come and see, your diseases and addictions will disappear, guaranteed! I want to tell people that they are going to be wealthier.

But I can't because at the heart of this gospel lies the Hero of my faith; broken, bleeding and dying on a rugged cross. I see Him suffering. I see Him poor and opressed and embarassed and lonely and plain looking and sad. I see Him homeless. I see Him tortured.

Best place to worship in the southland?? What a crock of crap - may God have mercy.

Come to Jesus. But don't come because a church has great programs or advertises great worship experiences. Come because He is God, and He is good.

Thoughts on Zoomanity

Greetings from a cloudy Kansas City, reader(s).

I am discovering lately that the greatest benefit to working in construction is the time off. How much do you get? Well, none. How much do I get to stay home? Every time it rains. After 2 and a half inches on Saturday, it was again, my day off. I am, um, not complaining. Making $0.00 today is not fabulous, but God is good and providing mercifully. So today, I have relaxed with my family. I'm grateful for this time. Sabbath rests seem few and far between on the weekends lately. Ashley had her first photography booth at a bridal show in KC lately and did great. The bridal response has been pretty incredible. Anyway, that show, combined with church equals an anti-Sabbath for our family.

What's the cure for the common busyness? A trip to the zoo. And because entrance was free, we took the kids (their second trip this year). What a beautiful day, what a beautiful family. I marvel at God's goodness.

When Daddy's home special, then often times the action ends up in the play room. . . . .with trains.


Tyler, happy to be chilling in the fake tree at the zoo.


Who has skills? Micah. Period.


What a beautiful family. It makes life beautiful.

Thoughts on more flights of conchords

No, seriously all of you who read the blog (up to 3 I think by last count). I feel led to pound this into my readers' heads. Watch Flight of the Conchords - referenced in a blog entry a few days ago.

You say: "really?"

And to that I say: "yes." Watch the following - one of the greatest songs ever.



Enjoy.

Thoughts on Colorado Pictures

Pics of the recent trip to CO. These are pics that I took. For many many many many more pics of the trip, see my wife's photo blog: ashleyparsonsphotography.blogspot.com.

Pics of the "old friends" referenced a couple of posts below:

Jerome, the red. Or is it magenta?


Devon, a faithful blog reader (rewarded with her picture on the blog - congrats my friend!)


Sarah, doing her best "Magnum" impression in the mountains. Nothing says "I'm a missionary in Mexico" like this pose.


Kyle, fired up for his impending wedding, shows me how excited he is about Cinderella and his cool magic wand. He told me later that Cinderella is a really "manly" Disney character. Obviously:


Jen and Jane rocking the Rio at the Bachelorette party (if by rocking you mean "sedately sitting at a table smiling"):


Clark, appearing in a vision as a pirate. . . .or zorro. . . .or whatever those tux clothes look like. Whatever the case, man this guy makes whatever look styling. . . .


And my beautiful wife. I love seeing joy on her face.


For now, goodbye to Colorado. . . . .