As an American, I am good as several things just by default:
Eating
Driving really big cars with bad gas mileage
Complaining about little things
Rooting for sports teams
Spending too much money
Complaining about money
I'm a decider
I'm about as full blooded regular white-guy American male as they come. 6 feet (5'11"), cut (if by cut you mean "round cut"), athlete (band nerd), steak lover (I am "round cut"), and a fan of several network television shows.
I was raised in the ghettos of rural Western Colorado...here are some barrios I used to frequent:
and-
I have two parents who are still married. We ate around the table every night. I have three beautiful sisters. We raised dogs...and cats...and other animals. . .like hamsters and gerbils with red eyes and.... [shudder]
I am American. Proud of it? It depends on the situation. I digress....
For instance, when I was 17, I toured Europe in a musical ensemble. Very awesome experience...Disneyland Paris, Hard Rock Cafe, McDonalds - you know, local culture and such. As we flew over the pond to Germany, I had no idea what to expect. How would I communicate? I needed to brush up on my german, so I started studying on the flight and....oh wait they have movies to watch. AWESOME!
So I didn't study. But, "miraculously", I was still able to communicate. Why? Because ENGLISH has swept the globe, just like the USA. Everyone there spoke it....and I'm proud to me an American....
And here I am, 11 years after that fact, a father of a four year old who is beginning to learn english. Here's how a recent "learning" session went....
"Daddy, let's spell some words, okay?"
"Ok Micah, what do you want to spell?"
"Daddy, let's spell LAKE."
"Ok, let's sound it out...l...l..."
"L!"
"Right, and a...a....a..."
"A!"
"Great...k....k...k..."
"K!"
"Yes and....................the last letter has no sound."
WTF? Or, other words he's asked to spell:
Pirate Ship
Pizza
Flamingo
Sesame Street
Silent "E's", Long "I's", Long "O's", Long "E's".....
I'm convinced, having children makes you dumber.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Thoughts on a new blog banner
So this morning, post birthday, I get up, feed my youngest son (my oldest doesn't want to eat - he's sick, don't call social services please) and then start to play with photoshop...which is fun cause i never play with it. I've watched ash do it for a long time now. So I started playing and here it is....
My exploration of narcissism.
It's totally un-professional, totally ragged looking, and humbling (if you ever mess with photos of yourself in photoshop, you get the full on view of your imperfections....like chipped yellow teeth and bad shaving jobs.....ahem).
Welcome new blog banner. I predict you'll be here for about 2 days until I get sick of you, and then you're gone....
Jeremy Parsons. Photoshop genius.
Or not.
My exploration of narcissism.
It's totally un-professional, totally ragged looking, and humbling (if you ever mess with photos of yourself in photoshop, you get the full on view of your imperfections....like chipped yellow teeth and bad shaving jobs.....ahem).
Welcome new blog banner. I predict you'll be here for about 2 days until I get sick of you, and then you're gone....
Jeremy Parsons. Photoshop genius.
Or not.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Thoughts on board games
I am no athlete. I am no genius. I am a simpleton, a sinner, a regular-joe. But, shouldn't I be able to beat a four year old at chutes and ladders?
After four straight games? The answer is a clear, resounding "NO".
After four straight games? The answer is a clear, resounding "NO".
Friday, February 15, 2008
Thoughts on Valentines Day
So, now that it's post-valentines day, I wanted to clue in all of my best friends on what I did for Ash yesterday. It's a beautiful thing, and, not to brag, but she was floored..... I don't have pics or video of it, but let's just say it went exactly like this:
More on our real valentines celebration later....
More on our real valentines celebration later....
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Thoughts on youth
To all my blog readers, enjoy and soak up your youth. If it's gone - reclaim it, somehow. Go skydiving. Go on that spontaneous trip to Europe. Rekindle that lost romance with your spouse. . . .or. . . . that "special someone" from the chatroom.
Blog readers, reclaim your youth. It will be gone in a flash. The sad (and funny) evidence?
Enjoy your youth. One minute you're a rock legend. The next? You're Jerry Lee Lewis in 2008. Goodness gracious great balls of fire.
Blog readers, reclaim your youth. It will be gone in a flash. The sad (and funny) evidence?
Enjoy your youth. One minute you're a rock legend. The next? You're Jerry Lee Lewis in 2008. Goodness gracious great balls of fire.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Thoughts on excess
What's wrong with the world today? Here's one thought:
Nice one, Flight of the Conchords, but here's another thought. . . .
A smattering of thoughts of a guy (me) raised in the information age:
Do you want your washing machine in white, green, orange, or red?
What kind of car do you want? How many gears? Auto or manual, 4wd, 2wd, FWD, AWD? 2 airbags, or 12? New or used? Buy or lease? 36 months or 48? 60? Do you get a warranty or take your chances? And the seats? Leather in your car? Tan, white, charcoal, or black? Or would you prefer vinyl? Or cloth?
What about your cell phone? Do you want to watch video on it? Live TV? Use it as a video recorder? A digital camera? A computer? Oh, what color do you want it in? Can your phone give you step by step GPS directions? And how many minutes should I get? 700? 1400? AT&T? Verizon? T-Mobile? Definitely not T-Mobile.
Do you want regular yogurt, or whipped? 2% fat, 1% fat, or no fat? What flavor of fruit? Or would you prefer strawberry vanilla cherry? Apple pie? Key lime pie? Boston cream pie? Cherry pie? Blueberry pie?
MMm, tortilla chips! But do I want rounds, regular chips, or the really big ones? Blue? Yellow? White? And what kind of salsa to go with it? Pico? Pace? Guac? On the border? Authentic?
Should I get pizza? Yes! But from what shop? Delivery or pickup? How much does delivery cost? Regular crust or honey wheat? Cheese in the crust? What kind of sauce? What kind of cheese? Do I want taco toppings on my pizza? Meat? Vegetables? What kinds, extra of each? Half one kind, half the other? How much do I tip the driver? Should I pay online, check, cash?
How much caffeine should I get in my coffee? 1 shot, or 2? 3? 4?? Dad??? To stay mug? Should I double cup my beverage? Should I get it extra hot? Less hot? Extra foam, no foam? Some fat, lots of fat, or no fat? Vanilla, almond, hazelnut, mocha? Should I get a tall drink. . .you know, the small one? Venti? Frapuccino? And what coffee shop should I go to? The big corporate chain that nobody likes, but everybody goes to consistently, or the hole in the wall shop?
What kind of water should I have? Ice, or no ice? Mineral water? Evian? Dasani? Aquafina? Do I take my chances with tap water?
That's 5 minutes in my brain some days. Ridiculous. No wonder everyone's stressed out - this stuff surrounds us, chokes us, and we drown slowly.
Too much excess. But, what do you do with it all? I don't know what I'll do. I think I'll start by listening to a sermon or two about this stuff. But what preacher? What church? Reformed? Fire and brimstone? Young? Old? What denomination?
Nice one, Flight of the Conchords, but here's another thought. . . .
A smattering of thoughts of a guy (me) raised in the information age:
Do you want your washing machine in white, green, orange, or red?
What kind of car do you want? How many gears? Auto or manual, 4wd, 2wd, FWD, AWD? 2 airbags, or 12? New or used? Buy or lease? 36 months or 48? 60? Do you get a warranty or take your chances? And the seats? Leather in your car? Tan, white, charcoal, or black? Or would you prefer vinyl? Or cloth?
What about your cell phone? Do you want to watch video on it? Live TV? Use it as a video recorder? A digital camera? A computer? Oh, what color do you want it in? Can your phone give you step by step GPS directions? And how many minutes should I get? 700? 1400? AT&T? Verizon? T-Mobile? Definitely not T-Mobile.
Do you want regular yogurt, or whipped? 2% fat, 1% fat, or no fat? What flavor of fruit? Or would you prefer strawberry vanilla cherry? Apple pie? Key lime pie? Boston cream pie? Cherry pie? Blueberry pie?
MMm, tortilla chips! But do I want rounds, regular chips, or the really big ones? Blue? Yellow? White? And what kind of salsa to go with it? Pico? Pace? Guac? On the border? Authentic?
Should I get pizza? Yes! But from what shop? Delivery or pickup? How much does delivery cost? Regular crust or honey wheat? Cheese in the crust? What kind of sauce? What kind of cheese? Do I want taco toppings on my pizza? Meat? Vegetables? What kinds, extra of each? Half one kind, half the other? How much do I tip the driver? Should I pay online, check, cash?
How much caffeine should I get in my coffee? 1 shot, or 2? 3? 4?? Dad??? To stay mug? Should I double cup my beverage? Should I get it extra hot? Less hot? Extra foam, no foam? Some fat, lots of fat, or no fat? Vanilla, almond, hazelnut, mocha? Should I get a tall drink. . .you know, the small one? Venti? Frapuccino? And what coffee shop should I go to? The big corporate chain that nobody likes, but everybody goes to consistently, or the hole in the wall shop?
What kind of water should I have? Ice, or no ice? Mineral water? Evian? Dasani? Aquafina? Do I take my chances with tap water?
That's 5 minutes in my brain some days. Ridiculous. No wonder everyone's stressed out - this stuff surrounds us, chokes us, and we drown slowly.
Too much excess. But, what do you do with it all? I don't know what I'll do. I think I'll start by listening to a sermon or two about this stuff. But what preacher? What church? Reformed? Fire and brimstone? Young? Old? What denomination?
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Thoughts on cynicism Part II
Someone once stated that they would love to be a cynical weapon for Jesus - depricating "retarted" things in the name of Jesus. I don't know who that was. . . .oh wait, it was me, on my blog.
Cynicism, I have long thought, is one of my spiritual gifts. Mostly, I'm able to take my thoughts about how I think things should be run, then dryly rip apart the way things are while making people laugh. And, as I've learned while blogging, Christians sure do laugh (and comment) at cynical remarks about the church. Truly, they must be cynical too - affirming with their remarks that what I am writing is worthy of merit. And me? I lead the bandwagon. Hooray for me. And the notion that I have the gift of cynicism (isn't that in the bible?) was quite misfounded, as I was reminded in the past week.....
Kevin is a budding friend of mine. I've met him in person a grand total of 2 times, emailed him 3 times, talked on the phone 3 times. We don't "go way back" or know each others' stories from start to finish. I am drawn toward Kevin; his love for Christ is infectious, his passion for the Gospel is alluring, and his ability to communicate those things is incredible. So, when he talks, I listen. I emailed him last week and confessed to him my cynical nature - mostly toward suburban American Christianity. For example, where are the blood and nails of the cross displayed in the slick new $4.5 million building placed in a wide open area of the suburbs, moving itself from the heart of the city. I guess God is supposed to do more in the burbs than He can in the city?
His response? Clear, loving, and well timed: "Cynicism, however, is not a good thing.....For me, cynicism was the product of passionate idealism and seeing dream after dream topple. Cynicism was born out of my repulsion to lots of the same things you’re repulsed by. The problem with cynicism is that it takes criticism and combines it with pride."
His words pierced my heart. Criticism, mixed with pride, equals cynicism.
How do I distance myself from cynicism? Criticism isn't bad, and I believe it's fine to question why the church moves away from urban cores to areas populated with the wealthy and elite. However, crossing into the heart motives of the 6 worship leaders at the front (because we NEED 6 singers - for 6 part harmony), dressed really nicely, raising their hands to each song in the worship set: fast-fast-slow-slow-fast (let's give the lord a hand-clap!!) Cynicism. It's wrong. But how do I distinguish between criticism and cynicism?
My passionate idealism for what the church "should look like" goes no farther than what the church doesn't look like currently. I look only at the faults, rip them apart, yet have no idea how to change it or live out my convictions. In other words, I'm part of the problem. What the hell do you do as a Christian for a city that's as broken as Kansas City? What difference can I make while I work on the extreme southern edge of Kansas CIty. . .ahem. . .in the highest priced subdivision in all of Kansas? How do I get involved in the change? Does it require my moving to a lower class neighborhood with my family, getting a job at a local business down there, and just immersing myself in the culture? What's my responsibility as a Christ follower? I guarantee it's not simply to point out all of the church's faults, like an annoying little kid who is constantly poking his finger into your arm asking "hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. . . . . ." All the while, I act as though I have the answers. Pride. Criticism. Cynicism.
What do you do? Don't say I need to buy the new Sandy Patti disc.
Cynicism, I have long thought, is one of my spiritual gifts. Mostly, I'm able to take my thoughts about how I think things should be run, then dryly rip apart the way things are while making people laugh. And, as I've learned while blogging, Christians sure do laugh (and comment) at cynical remarks about the church. Truly, they must be cynical too - affirming with their remarks that what I am writing is worthy of merit. And me? I lead the bandwagon. Hooray for me. And the notion that I have the gift of cynicism (isn't that in the bible?) was quite misfounded, as I was reminded in the past week.....
Kevin is a budding friend of mine. I've met him in person a grand total of 2 times, emailed him 3 times, talked on the phone 3 times. We don't "go way back" or know each others' stories from start to finish. I am drawn toward Kevin; his love for Christ is infectious, his passion for the Gospel is alluring, and his ability to communicate those things is incredible. So, when he talks, I listen. I emailed him last week and confessed to him my cynical nature - mostly toward suburban American Christianity. For example, where are the blood and nails of the cross displayed in the slick new $4.5 million building placed in a wide open area of the suburbs, moving itself from the heart of the city. I guess God is supposed to do more in the burbs than He can in the city?
His response? Clear, loving, and well timed: "Cynicism, however, is not a good thing.....For me, cynicism was the product of passionate idealism and seeing dream after dream topple. Cynicism was born out of my repulsion to lots of the same things you’re repulsed by. The problem with cynicism is that it takes criticism and combines it with pride."
His words pierced my heart. Criticism, mixed with pride, equals cynicism.
How do I distance myself from cynicism? Criticism isn't bad, and I believe it's fine to question why the church moves away from urban cores to areas populated with the wealthy and elite. However, crossing into the heart motives of the 6 worship leaders at the front (because we NEED 6 singers - for 6 part harmony), dressed really nicely, raising their hands to each song in the worship set: fast-fast-slow-slow-fast (let's give the lord a hand-clap!!) Cynicism. It's wrong. But how do I distinguish between criticism and cynicism?
My passionate idealism for what the church "should look like" goes no farther than what the church doesn't look like currently. I look only at the faults, rip them apart, yet have no idea how to change it or live out my convictions. In other words, I'm part of the problem. What the hell do you do as a Christian for a city that's as broken as Kansas City? What difference can I make while I work on the extreme southern edge of Kansas CIty. . .ahem. . .in the highest priced subdivision in all of Kansas? How do I get involved in the change? Does it require my moving to a lower class neighborhood with my family, getting a job at a local business down there, and just immersing myself in the culture? What's my responsibility as a Christ follower? I guarantee it's not simply to point out all of the church's faults, like an annoying little kid who is constantly poking his finger into your arm asking "hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. . . . . ." All the while, I act as though I have the answers. Pride. Criticism. Cynicism.
What do you do? Don't say I need to buy the new Sandy Patti disc.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Thoughts on the Super Bowl
Any sports fans out there? All I hear is silence, but this is my blog, and you're in my world, so you will listen to sports talk.
The super bowl this year? Superb. One of the greatest upsets in all of sports history, the Giants defeated the Patriots 17-14 on a last minute touchdown. And in other news, I consumed 4500 calories from chips and cheese dip, and the commercials are still simply average for $6 million per minute. God bless the USA.
I love when the underdog wins (unless it's against my team). Hoosiers brings it out. Watching The Sandlot brings it out, the Mighty Ducks, Rocky, Braveheart. . .scratch the Mighty Ducks from the list. I don't know why, but when the underdog wins, all becomes right in the world. There is balance, hope, relief. Part of me identifies with underdogs, because I, too, was an underdog - I being the guy who was never that good at sports, grades, school, etc. I married the hot Homecoming queen. Booyah.
We, as fans, can continue looking toward next year with great anticipation. If the Yankees won every year, then what's the draw toward baseball for fans of the Royals?
At any rate, all is right in my world, watching the arrogant patriots go down in flames. All is right in the world. . . .well, almost everything.
Heard on KLOVE on Saturday:
DJ: You might believe that the Patriots will win with all of your heart...you might believe that the Giants will win with all of your heart...but here's what THIRD DAY believes. . . . .(insert Mac Powell)
The super bowl this year? Superb. One of the greatest upsets in all of sports history, the Giants defeated the Patriots 17-14 on a last minute touchdown. And in other news, I consumed 4500 calories from chips and cheese dip, and the commercials are still simply average for $6 million per minute. God bless the USA.
I love when the underdog wins (unless it's against my team). Hoosiers brings it out. Watching The Sandlot brings it out, the Mighty Ducks, Rocky, Braveheart. . .scratch the Mighty Ducks from the list. I don't know why, but when the underdog wins, all becomes right in the world. There is balance, hope, relief. Part of me identifies with underdogs, because I, too, was an underdog - I being the guy who was never that good at sports, grades, school, etc. I married the hot Homecoming queen. Booyah.
We, as fans, can continue looking toward next year with great anticipation. If the Yankees won every year, then what's the draw toward baseball for fans of the Royals?
At any rate, all is right in my world, watching the arrogant patriots go down in flames. All is right in the world. . . .well, almost everything.
Heard on KLOVE on Saturday:
DJ: You might believe that the Patriots will win with all of your heart...you might believe that the Giants will win with all of your heart...but here's what THIRD DAY believes. . . . .(insert Mac Powell)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
