It's official - I have been educated in the ways of true figure skating. My teacher? Chazz Michael Michaels.
Blades of Glory.
Glorious.
After a long week of work, watching this movie was a true delight - scrumtrelescent you might say. The acting? Terrible. The plot? Two dudes pairing up for a skating competition? Good? No. But PERFECT.
Will Ferrell can make every scene he's in just great. Raised on the tough streets of Motown, did he have a tough childhood? "Only if you call a 9 year old boy having a 35 year old girlfriend tough". He's considered a "sex tornado", and doesn't just perform for a crowd - he makes love to it.
The movie, with all its stupid humor and bad plotlines, reminded me just how cleansing a good laugh can be. Stress relieving, clarifying, settling.
Go laugh, my one reader. Sit for a couple hours and let yourself go. Life's too heavy otherwise. Just my thoughts.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Thoughts on John Daker
I am finding that keeping up with a blog is harder than I thought. So to all my readers (reader), sorry. As White Goodman would say (Dodgeball): I am a skidmark on the underpants of blogging society.
I thought about my last post a few times since writing it - mostly about John Daker. Do watch before proceeding:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zi8beYR1iBQ
Now, let's break this down. The three characters in this drama: the young girl, the piano player, and John (f-ing) Daker, are obviously all down and dirty Methodists, attending and serving First United Methodist in whatever city they're from. By the looks of it, 2 of our 3 main characters may already be dead. The filmwork - old - probably done in the 70's. The piano player? Already bald and probably close to 65 years old. John Daker - looks to be about 60. This puts them in their mid to late 80's at least. The church room they were in? Obviously old.
And they are, or were, probably both Christians, assuming they adhered to most of what Charles Wesley taught, oh and the bible too.
So then I was thinking about John Daker, and his priceless - no, stunning - rendition of Christ the Lord is Risen today. It truly gets no better than the final word he sings, instead of "hallelujah", it's "aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh". John Daker, it can be assumed, is in heaven, or will be someday.
And what will it be like to run into John Daker in heaven? What questions will I ask him? How does our first conversation go? Hypothetically:
"John? John Daker?"
"Yes?"
"Um. . . .wow, this is weird. . . .you know, I wrote about this very moment when i was alive on my super popular blog."
"I know. Jesus told me. And your blog wasn't popular. jeremyparsons.blogspot.com? That's the most boring name ever."
"It was popular! I had dozens of hits. And Jesus read by blog? What did he think?"
"Laughed his butt off. In fact, he laughs each time he watches that talent show video of me."
"There's high speed internet in heaven?"
"Yes, but that's not the point. Jesus likes the video - especially the rendition of Amore. BUT HOW THE HECK WAS I SUPPOSED TO REMEMBER THE WORDS WHEN BALDY WAS PLAYING SO FAST??"
"I know what you mean....but John, really, I laughed so hard at your video more times than I can count. Thanks. What did you do for a living....."
And a conversation starts.
It's staggering to me that eternity is what we have coming. Eternity in total and complete peace. No bullshit with human relationships, no frustration with things like church, no hard labor, no saying goodbye to loved ones. And eternity to meet each and every follower of Christ, to know them fully, and to love them deeply. Even john (f-ing) daker. Someday, each follower of Christ can hear his story. And that's billions of people to meet. . . .
It makes my heart break for the guys I work with. They're the most hardened, crude, and arrogant guys I've ever worked with. And the more I hear about each of them, the more I see a lot of brokenness in their lives. Divorce, custody battles, monetary struggles, drugs, alcohol, prison - all used as a front to some messed up issues in their lives. They need Jesus - but what do you do with the gospel for them? Maybe I should do like Michael Scott did with Dwight in the office:
"Hug it out, B*tch." I'll let you know how that one goes.
Just my thoughts. . . .
I thought about my last post a few times since writing it - mostly about John Daker. Do watch before proceeding:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zi8beYR1iBQ
Now, let's break this down. The three characters in this drama: the young girl, the piano player, and John (f-ing) Daker, are obviously all down and dirty Methodists, attending and serving First United Methodist in whatever city they're from. By the looks of it, 2 of our 3 main characters may already be dead. The filmwork - old - probably done in the 70's. The piano player? Already bald and probably close to 65 years old. John Daker - looks to be about 60. This puts them in their mid to late 80's at least. The church room they were in? Obviously old.
And they are, or were, probably both Christians, assuming they adhered to most of what Charles Wesley taught, oh and the bible too.
So then I was thinking about John Daker, and his priceless - no, stunning - rendition of Christ the Lord is Risen today. It truly gets no better than the final word he sings, instead of "hallelujah", it's "aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh". John Daker, it can be assumed, is in heaven, or will be someday.
And what will it be like to run into John Daker in heaven? What questions will I ask him? How does our first conversation go? Hypothetically:
"John? John Daker?"
"Yes?"
"Um. . . .wow, this is weird. . . .you know, I wrote about this very moment when i was alive on my super popular blog."
"I know. Jesus told me. And your blog wasn't popular. jeremyparsons.blogspot.com? That's the most boring name ever."
"It was popular! I had dozens of hits. And Jesus read by blog? What did he think?"
"Laughed his butt off. In fact, he laughs each time he watches that talent show video of me."
"There's high speed internet in heaven?"
"Yes, but that's not the point. Jesus likes the video - especially the rendition of Amore. BUT HOW THE HECK WAS I SUPPOSED TO REMEMBER THE WORDS WHEN BALDY WAS PLAYING SO FAST??"
"I know what you mean....but John, really, I laughed so hard at your video more times than I can count. Thanks. What did you do for a living....."
And a conversation starts.
It's staggering to me that eternity is what we have coming. Eternity in total and complete peace. No bullshit with human relationships, no frustration with things like church, no hard labor, no saying goodbye to loved ones. And eternity to meet each and every follower of Christ, to know them fully, and to love them deeply. Even john (f-ing) daker. Someday, each follower of Christ can hear his story. And that's billions of people to meet. . . .
It makes my heart break for the guys I work with. They're the most hardened, crude, and arrogant guys I've ever worked with. And the more I hear about each of them, the more I see a lot of brokenness in their lives. Divorce, custody battles, monetary struggles, drugs, alcohol, prison - all used as a front to some messed up issues in their lives. They need Jesus - but what do you do with the gospel for them? Maybe I should do like Michael Scott did with Dwight in the office:
"Hug it out, B*tch." I'll let you know how that one goes.
Just my thoughts. . . .
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Thoughts on Hilarity
A joke I heard recently:
A man went to hell (haha) and came face to face with Satan, the lord of darkness. Satan banished the man to work in the burning fields of fire - digging a ditch between Beelzebub's castle and the gates of Sheohl. And so the man worked. . . .and worked and worked and worked. And he dug the ditch, alone, mile after mile - tirelessly using his rusty, blistering shovel. And all the while, he whistled a happy tune, laughed to himself, and was always happy to lend an encouraging, helpful word to his fellow hellians - though they burned and suffered in mindless, eternal torture.
After the ditch was completed, and the man came back to Satan with a big smile on his face, the king of despair was perplexed.
"Slave, why are you so happy? How can you withstand my punishment?"
And the man, with a foolish grin on his face, replied: "I'm from Kansas City, Missouri, and the summer's are hotter than hell."
+++++++++++++++++++
Ok. . . . .calm down. Hilarious I know. Wipe the tears from your eyes, and read on. It is 100 degrees each day, plus humidity - and working in grass fields without shade probably pushes the heat index to around 110+.
Also hilarious? The number of cuss words a typical construction worker might use in a typical day. I'd say the lover/under is 2500 (68% - the F word, 25% - the S word, and 7% - words so creative that I don't know what they mean - only that they're really bad).
Much love to all who read the blog - and leave me spectacular comments.
Other funny things:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkqrI3IibYI&mode=related&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMebclpHbo4&mode=related&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzvO9aS1hVc&NR=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zi8beYR1iBQ
A man went to hell (haha) and came face to face with Satan, the lord of darkness. Satan banished the man to work in the burning fields of fire - digging a ditch between Beelzebub's castle and the gates of Sheohl. And so the man worked. . . .and worked and worked and worked. And he dug the ditch, alone, mile after mile - tirelessly using his rusty, blistering shovel. And all the while, he whistled a happy tune, laughed to himself, and was always happy to lend an encouraging, helpful word to his fellow hellians - though they burned and suffered in mindless, eternal torture.
After the ditch was completed, and the man came back to Satan with a big smile on his face, the king of despair was perplexed.
"Slave, why are you so happy? How can you withstand my punishment?"
And the man, with a foolish grin on his face, replied: "I'm from Kansas City, Missouri, and the summer's are hotter than hell."
+++++++++++++++++++
Ok. . . . .calm down. Hilarious I know. Wipe the tears from your eyes, and read on. It is 100 degrees each day, plus humidity - and working in grass fields without shade probably pushes the heat index to around 110+.
Also hilarious? The number of cuss words a typical construction worker might use in a typical day. I'd say the lover/under is 2500 (68% - the F word, 25% - the S word, and 7% - words so creative that I don't know what they mean - only that they're really bad).
Much love to all who read the blog - and leave me spectacular comments.
Other funny things:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkqrI3IibYI&mode=related&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMebclpHbo4&mode=related&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzvO9aS1hVc&NR=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zi8beYR1iBQ
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Thoughts on Life's Deeper Mysteries
Dry your eyes all of you who check my blog often. I know - no blog post for a while. I am a working man now - a BLUE COLLAR working man now. I work for my friend Andrew who is developing 90+ acres into a very exclusive, high end subdivision.
My sister Annie has said on her blog - don't blog about work. It has resulted in the firing of her "blogging idol". But I don't care - I work construction. I'm guessing nobody has a blog. I'm also guessing nobody can read. I'm safe.
My construction "mates" are all pretty nice guys: either illegal immigrants, or guys from deep in the heart of Missourah who's sordid pasts I want nothing to do with. Imagining their paths getting to where they're at is like thinking through bad horror movies. I imagine that their idea of a vacation would be to go fishing - drinking 23 beers, sitting in a lawn chair shirtless with their feet in the water, and passing out all day just to wake up the next day and do it again. My favorite is the company mechanic - Richard. Richard is a felon (not sure for what), lives in a "big ol farm house" for $300/month almost 2 hours away from KC (commutes because there's no work where he's at), and is an expert at sifting through garbage that I find all over the property to find things that can be reused. He says things like: "sheeeooot". Seriously.
Working construction has its ups and downs. I'm a week into my new job. Things I like:
-Days off when the weather is bad.
-A weekly paycheck
-Working as part of a team
-Seeing my work begin to pay off
-Getting good praise from my boss because I'm doing a good job
-Getting good exersize all day everyday
Things I don't like:
-98 degree days, and then the humidity - probably 110 on the heat index.
-Not working much with people. Not many friends to be made out there.
Working alone gives me time to ponder life's deeper mysteries. When else would I have time to think through some of these things:
-How many bugs are there in this 90+ acre plot of land? Probably a million. Then, as I kill different bugs, I can successfully count down. I think I'm down to 998,235 (and yes, I've calculated the new bugs that have been born). Bugs will die - I will kill them.
-Speaking of bugs - I wonder what their thoughts are? I wonder if there are good bugs and bad ones. Like wasps - definitely the bad ones. But beetles? Probably really kind. Doesn't matter though - good and bad are all getting killed. . .by me.
-You know when you fill up your car with gas, and you finish and are putting the nozzle away and there's the inevitable drops of gas that fall to the ground or get all over your shoes - how many gallons of gas could be saved worldwide everyday by fixing those f-ing nozzles? I'm going green.
-You know driving down the highway, you see construction workers just standing around? How much of the economy is boosted (or brought down) by construction workers getting paid hourly to stand around while one guy does the work? (Don't misunderstand - I work in a small crew so we all have to work - but think "highway construction" guys.)
-How many bodies are buried in this plot of 90 acres? And what'd they do to get killed? I'm writing CBS - what a great "Cold Case" episode that would be.
-How much does the earth weigh?
-What is bark made of?
I do have time to pray during the day. Mostly the prayer is: "Lord, beer me strength", or "Lord, beer me shade." Seriously, there is good time to think spiritually.
And I thought this week about what it means to be "saved." Saving faith always works I've been told and reading the book of James - that's apparent. We aren't saved by works, but our faith will always drive us toward works. Christ's word will never return to Him void - and His work in our lives will always bear fruit.
But one of the scariest things is thinking about dying, and standing before Christ, and hearing Him say "away from me, I never knew you." Jesus promised that there will be people that claim to have known Christ - to have followed Him and done what He asked - and be cast away from Him. Scary. And it's all throughout scripture. Mary and Martha, the Rich Young Ruler, the Pharisees. . . .all about performance, working instead of following/resting - and it's what I think through lately. Derek Webb sings what Jesus might say to someone from suburban USA:
"Come on and follow me,
Sell your house, sell your SUV
Sell your stock, sell your security
and give it to the poor".
Very much like the rich young ruler he told to sell all he owned and follow Christ - humbling.
Christian performance means nothing, unless you first sit at His feet, rest, know Him, love Him, and be loved on by Him. Then our service becomes fruitful as it's driven by faith and knowledge of Jesus Christ.
I want what J.I. Packer has. What is life about: knowledge of God. First, foremost. So, how do you know God?.....just my thoughts I guess.
My sister Annie has said on her blog - don't blog about work. It has resulted in the firing of her "blogging idol". But I don't care - I work construction. I'm guessing nobody has a blog. I'm also guessing nobody can read. I'm safe.
My construction "mates" are all pretty nice guys: either illegal immigrants, or guys from deep in the heart of Missourah who's sordid pasts I want nothing to do with. Imagining their paths getting to where they're at is like thinking through bad horror movies. I imagine that their idea of a vacation would be to go fishing - drinking 23 beers, sitting in a lawn chair shirtless with their feet in the water, and passing out all day just to wake up the next day and do it again. My favorite is the company mechanic - Richard. Richard is a felon (not sure for what), lives in a "big ol farm house" for $300/month almost 2 hours away from KC (commutes because there's no work where he's at), and is an expert at sifting through garbage that I find all over the property to find things that can be reused. He says things like: "sheeeooot". Seriously.
Working construction has its ups and downs. I'm a week into my new job. Things I like:
-Days off when the weather is bad.
-A weekly paycheck
-Working as part of a team
-Seeing my work begin to pay off
-Getting good praise from my boss because I'm doing a good job
-Getting good exersize all day everyday
Things I don't like:
-98 degree days, and then the humidity - probably 110 on the heat index.
-Not working much with people. Not many friends to be made out there.
Working alone gives me time to ponder life's deeper mysteries. When else would I have time to think through some of these things:
-How many bugs are there in this 90+ acre plot of land? Probably a million. Then, as I kill different bugs, I can successfully count down. I think I'm down to 998,235 (and yes, I've calculated the new bugs that have been born). Bugs will die - I will kill them.
-Speaking of bugs - I wonder what their thoughts are? I wonder if there are good bugs and bad ones. Like wasps - definitely the bad ones. But beetles? Probably really kind. Doesn't matter though - good and bad are all getting killed. . .by me.
-You know when you fill up your car with gas, and you finish and are putting the nozzle away and there's the inevitable drops of gas that fall to the ground or get all over your shoes - how many gallons of gas could be saved worldwide everyday by fixing those f-ing nozzles? I'm going green.
-You know driving down the highway, you see construction workers just standing around? How much of the economy is boosted (or brought down) by construction workers getting paid hourly to stand around while one guy does the work? (Don't misunderstand - I work in a small crew so we all have to work - but think "highway construction" guys.)
-How many bodies are buried in this plot of 90 acres? And what'd they do to get killed? I'm writing CBS - what a great "Cold Case" episode that would be.
-How much does the earth weigh?
-What is bark made of?
I do have time to pray during the day. Mostly the prayer is: "Lord, beer me strength", or "Lord, beer me shade." Seriously, there is good time to think spiritually.
And I thought this week about what it means to be "saved." Saving faith always works I've been told and reading the book of James - that's apparent. We aren't saved by works, but our faith will always drive us toward works. Christ's word will never return to Him void - and His work in our lives will always bear fruit.
But one of the scariest things is thinking about dying, and standing before Christ, and hearing Him say "away from me, I never knew you." Jesus promised that there will be people that claim to have known Christ - to have followed Him and done what He asked - and be cast away from Him. Scary. And it's all throughout scripture. Mary and Martha, the Rich Young Ruler, the Pharisees. . . .all about performance, working instead of following/resting - and it's what I think through lately. Derek Webb sings what Jesus might say to someone from suburban USA:
"Come on and follow me,
Sell your house, sell your SUV
Sell your stock, sell your security
and give it to the poor".
Very much like the rich young ruler he told to sell all he owned and follow Christ - humbling.
Christian performance means nothing, unless you first sit at His feet, rest, know Him, love Him, and be loved on by Him. Then our service becomes fruitful as it's driven by faith and knowledge of Jesus Christ.
I want what J.I. Packer has. What is life about: knowledge of God. First, foremost. So, how do you know God?.....just my thoughts I guess.
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