Thoughts on cynicism

Cynicism becomes me. What can I say? I am unsure if I should feel guilty about it, or if I should embrace my inner cynicism, ask God to channel it, and make me the most cut throat, acid-tongued evangelist crusader for Christ ever? Probably the latter because, when confronted by trials and tribulations that life brings, I'll just compare them to an awful song by Sandi Patti or Twila Paris, etc. and laugh my way out of them.

"This situation sucks, but at least I have Twila's 'God is in control' to listen to."










"Man, church was lame today. The crowd was smaller than Sandi Patti's last tour."











"I feel very embarassed today. At least I'm not as embarassing as Avalon."








"Work was so boring today. I felt like I was listening to Susan Ashton's latest."










"I had a really tough decision to make today. At least I didn't have to decide between listening to BeBe or CeCe."


I find myself in that place of life now. . .

Maybe it's just that life isn't easy - life is full, busy, and things don't always go how I hope they would. True.

Maybe it's that Christian music is that easy to rip on. True.

Maybe I am wicked to the core. True.

Maybe I should repent. True.

Maybe THEY should repent for making me feel the way I do. DOUBLE TRUE.

Guilt comes creeping at the doorway of my heart, threatening me with thoughts of losing God's blessing for thinking such thoughts about His followers and those that obviously have larger ministries than me. But. . . .I slam the door in its face. Why? Because I identify all of the above with religious culture; culture responsible for people I know who say things like "I am teaching my kids to be good people to earn God's blessing." People who ridicule homosexuals for being sinners while ignoring their own sin. People who ignore the need for change in church, thinking that everything is fine the way it's been, while a new generation is ignored, and subsequently blamed, for the church's decline. I call it like I see it. Cynicism?

Yes, I am cynical. May God use it as an agent of change and forgive me for the rest.