Thursday, November 8, 2007

Thoughts on billboards

Unintentional comedy is one of the greatest creations of God's hand. Thank you, Jesus, for giving us laughter out of things that aren't meant to be funny. It's truly His redemptive work. Example:


-or-


Funny, although not meant to be originally.

Ashley and I marvel at the unintentional comedy we see around us daily. It's one of the things I love about her. We laugh at our kids when they try to get really mad over nothing and turn out to be so cute. We laugh at the mundane things of life. We laugh at church. . . .

Church? Really? What's so funny about church? Jeremy, church is serious business - it's the hospital. . . .for the sick. . . .soul. Do you WANT to burn in hell?

The answer is no. But here's a small piece of advice for churches. Please, churches, please please please, take down the freaking signs you put up out front for all passersby to see. Please - you embarass me greatly. Please, I beg you - do not EVER put up in front of your church, any of the following:

God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.

The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.

Have you read my #1 best seller? There's going to be a test. - God

We don't change the message, the message changes us.

Don't put a question mark where God put a period.

We need to talk - God

Be ye fishers of men. You catch 'em - He'll clean 'em.

Let's meet at my house Sunday, before the game - God

God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.

C'mon over and bring the kids - God

Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.

What part of "Thou Shalt Not..." didn't you understand? - God

Keep using my name in vain, I'll make rush hour longer - God

Loved the wedding, invite me to the marriage - God

God grades on the cross, not the curve.

That "Love They Neighbor" thing... I meant it - God

I love you and you and you and you and... - God

Will the road you're on get you to my place? - God

God loves everyone, but probably prefers "fruits of the spirit" over "religious nuts!"

Follow me - God

The Will of God will never take you to where the Grace of God will not protect you.

Big Bang theory, you've got to be kidding - God

My way is the highway - God

Prayer: Don't give God instructions - just report for duty!

Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.

You think it's hot here? - God

Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory capacity.

Do you have any idea where you're going? - God

Don't make me come down there - God

Forbidden fruits create many jams.

Want to make God laugh? Tell him your future plans.

He who angers you, controls you!

If God is your Co-pilot - swap seats!

God Answers Knee-Mail

Memberships available free to everyone under the son.

The Bible is Not Antique, Nor is it Modern, it is Eternal.

Forbidden fruit creates many jams.

If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again.

Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world.

Turn Life's Cares into Prayers.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

Thoughts? I love all of them that end with "-God".

7 comments:

bec said...

I guess you really like the forbidden fruits one, because you just hadddd to mention it twice.

Jeremy Parsons said...

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Jeremy Parsons said...

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Dev said...

ah, the hilarity and fury that simultaneously well up in me as i read each one of those. nothing like a dose of your thoughts after a long day at clinical on a bum hip.

Jeremy Parsons said...

Oops - looks like micah left me a couple of comments. He's a big fan.

rachel rianne said...

that was micah?
i thought that you were just frustrated that you had put something twice.
and you were freaking out.


"if you give Satan an inch,
he'll be a ruler"

ughhhh i hate it!!
and around here, they stick around FOREVER.
they're old after like the third word,
but they keep it there for about 10 months.


i'm excited for thanksgiving.
maybe i'll see you, blog friend.

hootenannie said...

FUNNY! I was going to post a blog with some of the church billboards I've seen across the Bible belt, but you beat me to it.

Oh well, I'll share a few here:

You should download the Word to your heart drive.

The winds of grace are always blowing - you just need to lift the sails.

1Cross/3Nails/4Given.