Thoughts on inspiration

Well, now that I've crossed the "10 comments" barrier in the blogging universe, I am progressing on to new dimensions of self esteem and popularity. After all, isn't that what blogs are all about? "I'll show you how awesome I am, and you guys,therefore, like me more." Yeah - I do have awesome pet peeves. So thanks - I feel good.

Truth be told, I am finding that I'm running out of things to blog about lately. I mean, how do I stay fresh? How do I "one up" myself? I mean, have you read the blogs I've posted in the past months? They are incredible. And, now that I am rocking this universe so deeply, I feel like this is my contribution to society.

But therein lies the problem - how do you keep going? Do I keep a running journal entry of my daily events?

"So today was AWESOME! (LOL). I got to go to WORK! (LOL) And I got to stand in the freezing ass cold weather!! (ROTFL!!) And THEN, I got YELLED AT by the "Smithers" of the company!! HOORAY!"

After about 10 straight posts like the above, I know that the interest in this blog would run out faster than Britney Spears' moral compass, or copies of the new Third Day CD at the Family Christian stores. I don't know what it is called, but I'm sure it's worth more to Jesus than Myrhh or whatever.

I need new inspiration to keep you guys well fed at the feeding trough of blogging wisdom. I would like nothing more than to fill this trough with hilarious anecdotes daily, giving each and every one of you new vision and encouragement for the day, healing marriages and diseases, and bringing home the troops for Christmas. . . .

But alas, you're stuck with "just my thoughts" which neither cure cancer (or bum hips), save marriages, or even shed tears (unless they're tears of shame over how I write).

Knowing this, I'm looking for more inspiration throughout life so that I can keep your insatiable appetites fed. And truth be told, I was getting a little bit tired of ripping on church and Christian music. And yes, as God often does, He seems to have intervened into my life, providing me with fresh wind and fresh fire - giving me drive to blog yet again and freshly reveal my thoughts into your souls.

And, sorry, they're still about Christian music and church. And here we go again.

See, we just found out we got about 6 new channels via our rabbit ears on our television. . . and as God works, one of them is the "worship" channel - where Jeremy's blog inspiration flows freely out of the tube and into my soul. In an evening of flipping through channels, I saw:

-Michael W.
-Avalon
-Third Day
-Carman

Holy crap, inspiration is back. And I'm so grateful.

And as I watched the infomercial (in shock, disbelief and some shame) for "Songs 4 Life" ("some of the greatest Christian music ever", hosted by Michael W.), a clip of my favorite band Avalon came up as they passionately sang "Testify to Love". And they did their little synchronized hand raising and passionately "got down" to the song while dressed nicely in front of a large, caucasian middle class audience. . . .like all Christian musicians do. I horked in my mouth. . . .but swallowed it down. I'm better now.

Christian musicians reveal more about the gospel to me than almost anything else. I watched this little commercial - and, completely judgmentally, I thought to myself: "if they weren't outfitted with nice clothes, and if nobody came to that concert, would they still sing the same lyrics to the song?"

In other words, I just find it hard to believe a lot of Christian musicians in their witness for Christ. I don't trust them, because I'm living a faith that is at times not strong. I still struggle with stuff. I believe in Jesus and want to follow Him - but it's made difficult when I don't always like myself, I don't always treat my family well, I get discouraged and lose sight of Christ. So as they sing their inspirational Christian music, I say "the heck with this crap" because life just isn't that cheery all the time. Testify to love? Seriously? "OF COURSE you testify to love" I think to myself. "You are wealthy and famous and celebrated by a large group of people that paid money to come hear you sing!" Testify to getting cussed out. Testify to nights of little sleep. Testify to letting your kids down and messing up as a dad and husband.

Where is my heart in all of this? Dealing with a degree of discouragement. I need Christ, because the Christian life isn't always happy and glitzy and shiny. And that being said - it's the only place where hope is found, where life is found, where encouragement is found, where love is found. And despite my failings - the dark valleys in life - there's still no place I would rather be than following Jesus. But I'll follow Him without "Songs 4 Life".