That God Christmas is over. December 25? Check - done - gone. And I'm grateful that it's over. Gifts? Check. Big holiday meals? Check. Christmas music? Triple check. Christmas movies? Check. Christmas feasts? Check. . .the scale.
So I've had a Christmas overload this year. I've traveled - from KC, to NYC, to KC, to Georgia - and I'm officially ready to begin a new year. So I'm really grateful that it's now New Year's eve - today feels really refreshing. It's a day of fresh beginnings; time to, as a Pastor I recently heard said, "leave the trash from the prior year behind." So I will do just that.
Here's 2008, a new year, fresh beginning, full of new promise and new adventures to be lived. Life is fresh, clean, bursting with hope and optimism. And I'm not THAT much of an idealist. I realize that fresh after January 1, maybe even a week later, I'm back into "real life" - commuting, going to work, making paychecks, running a small business, finding time for what's really important. . . but on New Years Eve, the dream is fresh, and alive with promise.
But what dreams should fill my heart tonight as I dream of the next 12 months? Should I dream about finally getting rid of the extra weight? Running a half marathon? Climbing fourteeners again in Colorado? Achieving success? Saving "x" amount of dollars? Getting my life "in order"? Establishing a career path? Making a life for myself? Reading the whole bible cover to cover? Reading 15 books? Writing a book? Blogging everyday? What is a worthy thing to resolve to do? Would Christ love me more if my resolutions were to pray more deeply, give more fervently, encourage more people, make someone believe in Jesus?
Are resolutions even a worthy thing to think about? They lose power after 2 days in the new year, right?
The answer: resolutions aren't just worthy to think about - they are essential. How easy is it to get sucked into the drudgery of life - at times living lives that lack passion, purpose, and hope. Resolutions return me to dream and hope in a faith that has escaped me toward the end of 2007. Resolutions return me to a passionate pursuit of my beautiful wife. Resolutions return me to the desire to be the hero of my boys' life. Resolutions fill my sails with life, drive, and ambition. And I sit here writing - alive, excited, and expectant for 2008.
But all of this is null and void without one underlying fact. I'm reminded that "So now faith, hope, and love abide, but the greatest of these is love." (1 Cor. 13:13)
So here's my underlying resolution for 2008, the rest is simply white noise: May it be in my life in 2008 that I be a man full of reckless, unconditional, and deep love - for my family, for my friends, for Christ, and all things that He loves.
Happy New Year.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Thoughts on adventure
Hello faithful readers. I hope you're having a pleasant "post Christmas" gorging fest on food and relaxation. Perhaps you're working and working out and eating well. Hello to you folks too. I, for one, am gaining weight, sleeping in, and enjoying much time with my boys and my inlaws. This break has given me more time to write as well. So, forgive my latest bout of the blogging "runs." Just read, and do your best to stay awake.
I finished reading "Into the Wild" by Krakauer and highly recommend it for anyone interested in a story that is equally heart stirring, terrifying, and gut wrenching. A brief synopsis: Chris McCandless graduates from Emory University in Atlanta, GA, promptly gives his $25,000 inheritance to OXFAM, jumps in his car, and disappears. He later abandones his car, and hitchhikes around the country, finally following his dream to Alaska - just north of Mt. McKinley. There, he is discovered 3 weeks after his death by a moose hunter - emaciated and alone in an abandoned bus.
I tell you the synopsis because my sister did the same to me and it took nothing away from reading the book. Read it.
At any rate, I'm stirred at the conclusion of this book. Many many things stuck out to me from this book but the larger (at this point) issue is one of adventure. Something about the radical life McCandless led is strangely intoxicating. The adventures he embarked on are somewhat captivating to my mind and heart - and so I sit stirred. Adventure, it seems, is lost amidst the daily grind. You, my readers, have no doubt heard that sentiment expressed as I fumble through stretches of life, longing for deeper meaning and life to the full. Adventure, I'm convinced, has nothing to do with necessarily heading into the wild; seeking some type of transcendent, life giving message that wilderness gives. John Eldredge argues that men find adventure getting out of the cities, and returning to their "wild" roots up in the mountains. And I, for a time in my life, believed him wholeheartedly... lucky for me,I lived in Colorado at the time. And while I do believe that Eldredge says much that is true, I have since moved to the flatlands of the midwest, which has changed my tune. How is any man supposed to be wild when they live 600+ miles from "the wild"? Adventure has to be found somewhere else.
A couple of quotes at the end of the book summed up a lot for me. One is a quote from Annie Dillard:
"...when we wake to the deep shores of time uncreated, when the dazzling dark breaks over the far slopes of time, then it's time to toss things, like our reason and our will; then it's time to break our necks for home. There are no events but thoughts and the heart's hard turning, the heart's slow learning, where to love and whom. The rest is merely gossip, and tales for other times."
This stirring of course has nothing to do with me just giving it all away and disappearing. I want nothing to do with the hitchhiking, hunting, dying of starvation in Alaska, shunning all friends and family.... at the conclusion of "Into the Wild", it's clear that McCandless had changed his tune. In his journal toward the end of his life notes that happiness is only real when shared with others. And so, the longing for me is one of the adventure of sharing life with you: my friends and family.
"...where to love and whom." This is the adventure - this is truly what matters.
I'd urge you all to do the same: love unconditionally, fully, without question, and with abandon. Life together, under Christ: amidst pain, suffering, joy, laughter, hard times, good times - true adventure. I'm happy to be on this journey with you all.
I finished reading "Into the Wild" by Krakauer and highly recommend it for anyone interested in a story that is equally heart stirring, terrifying, and gut wrenching. A brief synopsis: Chris McCandless graduates from Emory University in Atlanta, GA, promptly gives his $25,000 inheritance to OXFAM, jumps in his car, and disappears. He later abandones his car, and hitchhikes around the country, finally following his dream to Alaska - just north of Mt. McKinley. There, he is discovered 3 weeks after his death by a moose hunter - emaciated and alone in an abandoned bus.
I tell you the synopsis because my sister did the same to me and it took nothing away from reading the book. Read it.
At any rate, I'm stirred at the conclusion of this book. Many many things stuck out to me from this book but the larger (at this point) issue is one of adventure. Something about the radical life McCandless led is strangely intoxicating. The adventures he embarked on are somewhat captivating to my mind and heart - and so I sit stirred. Adventure, it seems, is lost amidst the daily grind. You, my readers, have no doubt heard that sentiment expressed as I fumble through stretches of life, longing for deeper meaning and life to the full. Adventure, I'm convinced, has nothing to do with necessarily heading into the wild; seeking some type of transcendent, life giving message that wilderness gives. John Eldredge argues that men find adventure getting out of the cities, and returning to their "wild" roots up in the mountains. And I, for a time in my life, believed him wholeheartedly... lucky for me,I lived in Colorado at the time. And while I do believe that Eldredge says much that is true, I have since moved to the flatlands of the midwest, which has changed my tune. How is any man supposed to be wild when they live 600+ miles from "the wild"? Adventure has to be found somewhere else.
A couple of quotes at the end of the book summed up a lot for me. One is a quote from Annie Dillard:
"...when we wake to the deep shores of time uncreated, when the dazzling dark breaks over the far slopes of time, then it's time to toss things, like our reason and our will; then it's time to break our necks for home. There are no events but thoughts and the heart's hard turning, the heart's slow learning, where to love and whom. The rest is merely gossip, and tales for other times."
This stirring of course has nothing to do with me just giving it all away and disappearing. I want nothing to do with the hitchhiking, hunting, dying of starvation in Alaska, shunning all friends and family.... at the conclusion of "Into the Wild", it's clear that McCandless had changed his tune. In his journal toward the end of his life notes that happiness is only real when shared with others. And so, the longing for me is one of the adventure of sharing life with you: my friends and family.
"...where to love and whom." This is the adventure - this is truly what matters.
I'd urge you all to do the same: love unconditionally, fully, without question, and with abandon. Life together, under Christ: amidst pain, suffering, joy, laughter, hard times, good times - true adventure. I'm happy to be on this journey with you all.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Thoughts on questions
At a certain point in one's blog "career" (probably after your profile gets 250 views. . . .even if 189 of them are yourself checking how many people have checked your profile. . .but I digress), you go back through your posts from beginning until present time; taking stock of where you've come from. My faithful blog readers, it has been some kind of journey throughout the months. We've shared laughs, tears, and comments. I feel like I am now more popular because of the blog. And that, friends, is the reason I do it. What better way on this Christmas to reflect on my blogging history. . . .
I took a trip down memory lane. I traveled far back. . .to earlier in 2007. Okay, I haven't blogged for too long. But, I have done enough to know that my heart isn't consistent from post to post. I'm not that "steady" guy who proceeds through life with caution, guarding his heart from the ups and downs that come daily. Instead, my mood seems to change from post to post. One moment, I sound like a DJ from the local Christian radio station: "you know, God is awesome. Amen? Let's listen to some more positive music. . . here's mac powell. . . .". The next moment, I might make people feel like they feel after watching Life is Beautiful, Old Yeller, or worse - a full episode of According to Jim. Depressing.
I admit, I am a maze of emotion - even if it shows very little outwardly. In my heart, I alternately feel like a 15 year old kid who has no idea who he is; and a confident man who knows who he is in Christ, ready to turn the world upside down with hope. Much of the time, it seems to me like everyone else has it more together than I do; yet at the same time, I catch myself judging - finding it so easy to think how much better I am at life than others. It's total bullcrap, no doubt. I'm double minded - so no doubt that Paul wrote that he doesn't do what he wants to do, he does what he doesn't want to do. I also have recently caught myself thinking that if there are two really fat people that sit net to each other on an airplane, will it throw us off course? Probably. . . but that's wicked.
But, besides my wild mood swings, crazy thoughts, and my self analyzing, boredom-inducing writing style, I noticed a larger trend. My thinking has steadily grown consistently darker, consistently less hopeful, and consistently less about the Kingdom - more about me. Even if that hasn't shown outwardly (for instance, if you haven't noticed), I feel it. And I am tempted to believe that that darkened state of mind is about me not doing something right. Have I sinned in some way, thus throwing me into a spiral downward? Have I shamed the Lord? Have I lost His favor, thereby throwing me into a valley of darker thoughts? Do I need to support more of this Christianese culture in order to gain God's approval? Sounds like a stupid question - but it does cross my mind.
Nothing can separate us from the love of Christ - I believe that with all of my heart. So what else can it be?
Could it be that I've seen glimpses of the religious system I subscribe to that are less than perfect? Could I be learning that Christian life truly isn't "positive and encouraging" all of the time? Could I be right in the palm of His hand, even now? Could He be the one leading me this direction?
So I question, I ponder, I reflect, and I celebrate this Christmastime. Because despite my darkened state of mind toward some things, I love the Lord Jesus. And without this day, there'd be truly no hope.
Merry Christmas everyone. I love you all dearly - you're truly all gifts to me.
I took a trip down memory lane. I traveled far back. . .to earlier in 2007. Okay, I haven't blogged for too long. But, I have done enough to know that my heart isn't consistent from post to post. I'm not that "steady" guy who proceeds through life with caution, guarding his heart from the ups and downs that come daily. Instead, my mood seems to change from post to post. One moment, I sound like a DJ from the local Christian radio station: "you know, God is awesome. Amen? Let's listen to some more positive music. . . here's mac powell. . . .". The next moment, I might make people feel like they feel after watching Life is Beautiful, Old Yeller, or worse - a full episode of According to Jim. Depressing.
I admit, I am a maze of emotion - even if it shows very little outwardly. In my heart, I alternately feel like a 15 year old kid who has no idea who he is; and a confident man who knows who he is in Christ, ready to turn the world upside down with hope. Much of the time, it seems to me like everyone else has it more together than I do; yet at the same time, I catch myself judging - finding it so easy to think how much better I am at life than others. It's total bullcrap, no doubt. I'm double minded - so no doubt that Paul wrote that he doesn't do what he wants to do, he does what he doesn't want to do. I also have recently caught myself thinking that if there are two really fat people that sit net to each other on an airplane, will it throw us off course? Probably. . . but that's wicked.
But, besides my wild mood swings, crazy thoughts, and my self analyzing, boredom-inducing writing style, I noticed a larger trend. My thinking has steadily grown consistently darker, consistently less hopeful, and consistently less about the Kingdom - more about me. Even if that hasn't shown outwardly (for instance, if you haven't noticed), I feel it. And I am tempted to believe that that darkened state of mind is about me not doing something right. Have I sinned in some way, thus throwing me into a spiral downward? Have I shamed the Lord? Have I lost His favor, thereby throwing me into a valley of darker thoughts? Do I need to support more of this Christianese culture in order to gain God's approval? Sounds like a stupid question - but it does cross my mind.
Nothing can separate us from the love of Christ - I believe that with all of my heart. So what else can it be?
Could it be that I've seen glimpses of the religious system I subscribe to that are less than perfect? Could I be learning that Christian life truly isn't "positive and encouraging" all of the time? Could I be right in the palm of His hand, even now? Could He be the one leading me this direction?
So I question, I ponder, I reflect, and I celebrate this Christmastime. Because despite my darkened state of mind toward some things, I love the Lord Jesus. And without this day, there'd be truly no hope.
Merry Christmas everyone. I love you all dearly - you're truly all gifts to me.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Thoughts on New York
What can I say about New York City? How would one describe something so large? How does one begin to express the feeling you get when surrounded by millions of individual lives, billions of office/retail/livable square footage, and more languages spoken than I could have ever imagined hearing (let alone, hearing them in one location)?
What do you say, then, when you go from the wide-open space of the Midwest and are dropped straight into the Mecca of American diversity? How are you supposed to feel when you have to hire a car service to get to and from the airport? How do you cope when the only pieces of nature you see are fenced off, that the grass is designated: “No dogs allowed” and that the trees are there, seemingly, to more beautifully frame the main attractions: the buildings?
How do you fathom the amount of money it takes to simply function; to get anywhere, to eat, to be entertained? How can one person fathom how much it costs to rent a tiny apartment, and yet how many people do? How much money does Bloomingdales make in one day at Christmas time? Macy’s? Anthropologie?
How should you feel when you hear people SCREAMING at each other from across the subway platform? (in a heavy Brooklyn accent: “YOU DISGUST ME, IN EVERY WHICH WAY. . . .”) What do you say when you are thrust into an area where people have less patience than my kids do on Christmas morning? How does a guy raised in a small town in Colorado respond when someone causes a 15 second delay for an automobile, gets honked at twice, and then the car stops, rolls down its windows and proceeds to yell at the elderly woman who caused the delay? How should I feel when one sees lots of young, able bodied guys relaxing in seats on the subway while women (some elderly) and children are forced to stand? How does one get used to shouldering women out of your way when trying to walk the streets, not apologizing, and not feeling bad?
And can I even begin to imagine the feelings of the new immigrants who initially stood on Ellis Island? What does it feel like to a new immigrant now? What is it like to find a job in New York, let alone which direction is north?
How do kids feel being raised in the projects? How do they feel being raised in posh Manhattan estates? Will they ever know how sweet air at 9000 feet smells or what it’s like to drive your very own automobile for 12 straight hours before reaching your destination? Will they ever be lulled to sleep by the quiet chirping of crickets? Will they ever see the Milky Way? And how do teachers in New York do it, while their students are pent up and “roped in” continually and have nowhere to go run and play? How do parents do it if their yard is nothing more than a 6-foot by 8-foot concrete slab?
How do tourists feel when they behold the majesty of Times Square for the first time? How do I respond to television screens that are 8 STORIES tall, and they are EVERYWHERE?! How does a tourist, if they have no tour guide, branch out any farther than just that area of the city? How do you absorb the entire breadth of the stimuli in that two block area? How do companies afford an advertisement that is that large? What does a model feel like to see themselves blown up to 80 feet tall?
How does a resident of New York meet new people? How would a single person go about finding companionship? How do you even trust another person in a city that large? How do churches form and grow? How does one interact with so many devout people from other religions?
What do you say when you see puddles of pee randomly on the sidewalks? What about the post Friday/Saturday night piles of vomit just randomly on the sidewalks/subway platforms? Can one get used to the rats… and the smells? Is it possible to get used to most public restrooms being filthy, without toilet paper, cramped, and crowded? How about the higher prices at restaurants?
How will I ever eat another Gyro again without comparing it to the “real thing” I had in Astoria? Will I ever again try a hot dog as good as a Gray’s Papaya frank? And the bacon-corn chowder at Gray Dog, how can I go without it? New York bagels are incomparable to any I’ve ever had, so how can I go back to the regular Panera bagels? Will I ever again see a Christmas tree as beautiful as the one at 30 Rock? Will I ever again feel as deeply in the Christmas spirit as I did while ice-skating in Central Park with my wife and my friends? Will I ever be in a place that diverse again? Will I ever be in a place again where almost nobody is fat?
How does one deal with New York for the first time?
You dive in head first – live it, love it, breathe it in, and thank God for every single bit of it. . . .
What do you say, then, when you go from the wide-open space of the Midwest and are dropped straight into the Mecca of American diversity? How are you supposed to feel when you have to hire a car service to get to and from the airport? How do you cope when the only pieces of nature you see are fenced off, that the grass is designated: “No dogs allowed” and that the trees are there, seemingly, to more beautifully frame the main attractions: the buildings?
How do you fathom the amount of money it takes to simply function; to get anywhere, to eat, to be entertained? How can one person fathom how much it costs to rent a tiny apartment, and yet how many people do? How much money does Bloomingdales make in one day at Christmas time? Macy’s? Anthropologie?
How should you feel when you hear people SCREAMING at each other from across the subway platform? (in a heavy Brooklyn accent: “YOU DISGUST ME, IN EVERY WHICH WAY. . . .”) What do you say when you are thrust into an area where people have less patience than my kids do on Christmas morning? How does a guy raised in a small town in Colorado respond when someone causes a 15 second delay for an automobile, gets honked at twice, and then the car stops, rolls down its windows and proceeds to yell at the elderly woman who caused the delay? How should I feel when one sees lots of young, able bodied guys relaxing in seats on the subway while women (some elderly) and children are forced to stand? How does one get used to shouldering women out of your way when trying to walk the streets, not apologizing, and not feeling bad?
And can I even begin to imagine the feelings of the new immigrants who initially stood on Ellis Island? What does it feel like to a new immigrant now? What is it like to find a job in New York, let alone which direction is north?
How do kids feel being raised in the projects? How do they feel being raised in posh Manhattan estates? Will they ever know how sweet air at 9000 feet smells or what it’s like to drive your very own automobile for 12 straight hours before reaching your destination? Will they ever be lulled to sleep by the quiet chirping of crickets? Will they ever see the Milky Way? And how do teachers in New York do it, while their students are pent up and “roped in” continually and have nowhere to go run and play? How do parents do it if their yard is nothing more than a 6-foot by 8-foot concrete slab?
How do tourists feel when they behold the majesty of Times Square for the first time? How do I respond to television screens that are 8 STORIES tall, and they are EVERYWHERE?! How does a tourist, if they have no tour guide, branch out any farther than just that area of the city? How do you absorb the entire breadth of the stimuli in that two block area? How do companies afford an advertisement that is that large? What does a model feel like to see themselves blown up to 80 feet tall?
How does a resident of New York meet new people? How would a single person go about finding companionship? How do you even trust another person in a city that large? How do churches form and grow? How does one interact with so many devout people from other religions?
What do you say when you see puddles of pee randomly on the sidewalks? What about the post Friday/Saturday night piles of vomit just randomly on the sidewalks/subway platforms? Can one get used to the rats… and the smells? Is it possible to get used to most public restrooms being filthy, without toilet paper, cramped, and crowded? How about the higher prices at restaurants?
How will I ever eat another Gyro again without comparing it to the “real thing” I had in Astoria? Will I ever again try a hot dog as good as a Gray’s Papaya frank? And the bacon-corn chowder at Gray Dog, how can I go without it? New York bagels are incomparable to any I’ve ever had, so how can I go back to the regular Panera bagels? Will I ever again see a Christmas tree as beautiful as the one at 30 Rock? Will I ever again feel as deeply in the Christmas spirit as I did while ice-skating in Central Park with my wife and my friends? Will I ever be in a place that diverse again? Will I ever be in a place again where almost nobody is fat?
How does one deal with New York for the first time?
You dive in head first – live it, love it, breathe it in, and thank God for every single bit of it. . . .
Monday, December 10, 2007
Thoughts on Hamburgers. . . .those bastards
I'm up at quarter til one blogging. . . . so immediately you know something isn't right with me.
Let me take you back two nights.
Ashley and I sat in our office - both of us at our corresponding workstations, discussing our business and some things for the future. The kids were down to bed so this was our time to dream and our time to brainstorm.
And I heard a cough from the boys' room, didn't think much of it at first, and went to investigate.
"Tyler are you okay?"
(response is crying)
I gently pick up Tyler.
"What's the matter buddy?"
(vomit sprays all over my shirt)
So as Ashley cleaned the floors and sheets. I held him and consoled him and gave him a bath. It, at the time, was wonderful. He whimpered things like "I love you daddy" which, for any non-parent out there - please trust that it is the absolute greatest feeling on earth.
Anyways, Sunday came and went. Tyler didn't throw up, ate a good dinner, as did micah.
Monday came and went. I went to work, had a good day, and all was fairly good at home when I was driving home. I spoke with Ashley at 4:10-4:15 before she had to console crying dudes.
So, no worries, right? I'm going home to be with my family, the ice storm is moving in but we'll be safe and warm inside, right?
Wrong.
I arrived home to 2 sick children, puking all over the floor. It was chaos and my poor wife was cleaning all of it. Phew, at least I and her both don't have it!
Or not. We ordered two cheeseburgers from a local bar and grille and I picked them up without incident (with some sprite for the kiddos). Arriving home, we ate our burgers amidst vomiting children and just shook our heads at the crazy moment we were living out.
And promptly after dinner, I threw up. . .and up. . .and up. . .and up. . .and up (plus a couple more) within a 4 hour span.
And I have NEVER been as sick as I am right now - never. It is truly unreal.
So, I hate hamburgers, the little bastard food group that they are.
But, it's strange how being sick has made me realize how much better I have it than some though. I'm still inside on an ice-storm night. I am well fed, unlike many (as was, um, plenty evident tonight). And I have an incredible caring wife who has nurtured my boys and I. Pray that I don't get her sick. So, I sit and sip water, now wanting to lay down until it's been absorbed.
I hate the flu. I hate hamburgers.
Let me take you back two nights.
Ashley and I sat in our office - both of us at our corresponding workstations, discussing our business and some things for the future. The kids were down to bed so this was our time to dream and our time to brainstorm.
And I heard a cough from the boys' room, didn't think much of it at first, and went to investigate.
"Tyler are you okay?"
(response is crying)
I gently pick up Tyler.
"What's the matter buddy?"
(vomit sprays all over my shirt)
So as Ashley cleaned the floors and sheets. I held him and consoled him and gave him a bath. It, at the time, was wonderful. He whimpered things like "I love you daddy" which, for any non-parent out there - please trust that it is the absolute greatest feeling on earth.
Anyways, Sunday came and went. Tyler didn't throw up, ate a good dinner, as did micah.
Monday came and went. I went to work, had a good day, and all was fairly good at home when I was driving home. I spoke with Ashley at 4:10-4:15 before she had to console crying dudes.
So, no worries, right? I'm going home to be with my family, the ice storm is moving in but we'll be safe and warm inside, right?
Wrong.
I arrived home to 2 sick children, puking all over the floor. It was chaos and my poor wife was cleaning all of it. Phew, at least I and her both don't have it!
Or not. We ordered two cheeseburgers from a local bar and grille and I picked them up without incident (with some sprite for the kiddos). Arriving home, we ate our burgers amidst vomiting children and just shook our heads at the crazy moment we were living out.
And promptly after dinner, I threw up. . .and up. . .and up. . .and up. . .and up (plus a couple more) within a 4 hour span.
And I have NEVER been as sick as I am right now - never. It is truly unreal.
So, I hate hamburgers, the little bastard food group that they are.
But, it's strange how being sick has made me realize how much better I have it than some though. I'm still inside on an ice-storm night. I am well fed, unlike many (as was, um, plenty evident tonight). And I have an incredible caring wife who has nurtured my boys and I. Pray that I don't get her sick. So, I sit and sip water, now wanting to lay down until it's been absorbed.
I hate the flu. I hate hamburgers.
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Thoughts on inspiration
Well, now that I've crossed the "10 comments" barrier in the blogging universe, I am progressing on to new dimensions of self esteem and popularity. After all, isn't that what blogs are all about? "I'll show you how awesome I am, and you guys,therefore, like me more." Yeah - I do have awesome pet peeves. So thanks - I feel good.
Truth be told, I am finding that I'm running out of things to blog about lately. I mean, how do I stay fresh? How do I "one up" myself? I mean, have you read the blogs I've posted in the past months? They are incredible. And, now that I am rocking this universe so deeply, I feel like this is my contribution to society.
But therein lies the problem - how do you keep going? Do I keep a running journal entry of my daily events?
"So today was AWESOME! (LOL). I got to go to WORK! (LOL) And I got to stand in the freezing ass cold weather!! (ROTFL!!) And THEN, I got YELLED AT by the "Smithers" of the company!! HOORAY!"
After about 10 straight posts like the above, I know that the interest in this blog would run out faster than Britney Spears' moral compass, or copies of the new Third Day CD at the Family Christian stores. I don't know what it is called, but I'm sure it's worth more to Jesus than Myrhh or whatever.
I need new inspiration to keep you guys well fed at the feeding trough of blogging wisdom. I would like nothing more than to fill this trough with hilarious anecdotes daily, giving each and every one of you new vision and encouragement for the day, healing marriages and diseases, and bringing home the troops for Christmas. . . .
But alas, you're stuck with "just my thoughts" which neither cure cancer (or bum hips), save marriages, or even shed tears (unless they're tears of shame over how I write).
Knowing this, I'm looking for more inspiration throughout life so that I can keep your insatiable appetites fed. And truth be told, I was getting a little bit tired of ripping on church and Christian music. And yes, as God often does, He seems to have intervened into my life, providing me with fresh wind and fresh fire - giving me drive to blog yet again and freshly reveal my thoughts into your souls.
And, sorry, they're still about Christian music and church. And here we go again.
See, we just found out we got about 6 new channels via our rabbit ears on our television. . . and as God works, one of them is the "worship" channel - where Jeremy's blog inspiration flows freely out of the tube and into my soul. In an evening of flipping through channels, I saw:
-Michael W.
-Avalon
-Third Day
-Carman
Holy crap, inspiration is back. And I'm so grateful.
And as I watched the infomercial (in shock, disbelief and some shame) for "Songs 4 Life" ("some of the greatest Christian music ever", hosted by Michael W.), a clip of my favorite band Avalon came up as they passionately sang "Testify to Love". And they did their little synchronized hand raising and passionately "got down" to the song while dressed nicely in front of a large, caucasian middle class audience. . . .like all Christian musicians do. I horked in my mouth. . . .but swallowed it down. I'm better now.
Christian musicians reveal more about the gospel to me than almost anything else. I watched this little commercial - and, completely judgmentally, I thought to myself: "if they weren't outfitted with nice clothes, and if nobody came to that concert, would they still sing the same lyrics to the song?"
In other words, I just find it hard to believe a lot of Christian musicians in their witness for Christ. I don't trust them, because I'm living a faith that is at times not strong. I still struggle with stuff. I believe in Jesus and want to follow Him - but it's made difficult when I don't always like myself, I don't always treat my family well, I get discouraged and lose sight of Christ. So as they sing their inspirational Christian music, I say "the heck with this crap" because life just isn't that cheery all the time. Testify to love? Seriously? "OF COURSE you testify to love" I think to myself. "You are wealthy and famous and celebrated by a large group of people that paid money to come hear you sing!" Testify to getting cussed out. Testify to nights of little sleep. Testify to letting your kids down and messing up as a dad and husband.
Where is my heart in all of this? Dealing with a degree of discouragement. I need Christ, because the Christian life isn't always happy and glitzy and shiny. And that being said - it's the only place where hope is found, where life is found, where encouragement is found, where love is found. And despite my failings - the dark valleys in life - there's still no place I would rather be than following Jesus. But I'll follow Him without "Songs 4 Life".
Truth be told, I am finding that I'm running out of things to blog about lately. I mean, how do I stay fresh? How do I "one up" myself? I mean, have you read the blogs I've posted in the past months? They are incredible. And, now that I am rocking this universe so deeply, I feel like this is my contribution to society.
But therein lies the problem - how do you keep going? Do I keep a running journal entry of my daily events?
"So today was AWESOME! (LOL). I got to go to WORK! (LOL) And I got to stand in the freezing ass cold weather!! (ROTFL!!) And THEN, I got YELLED AT by the "Smithers" of the company!! HOORAY!"
After about 10 straight posts like the above, I know that the interest in this blog would run out faster than Britney Spears' moral compass, or copies of the new Third Day CD at the Family Christian stores. I don't know what it is called, but I'm sure it's worth more to Jesus than Myrhh or whatever.
I need new inspiration to keep you guys well fed at the feeding trough of blogging wisdom. I would like nothing more than to fill this trough with hilarious anecdotes daily, giving each and every one of you new vision and encouragement for the day, healing marriages and diseases, and bringing home the troops for Christmas. . . .
But alas, you're stuck with "just my thoughts" which neither cure cancer (or bum hips), save marriages, or even shed tears (unless they're tears of shame over how I write).
Knowing this, I'm looking for more inspiration throughout life so that I can keep your insatiable appetites fed. And truth be told, I was getting a little bit tired of ripping on church and Christian music. And yes, as God often does, He seems to have intervened into my life, providing me with fresh wind and fresh fire - giving me drive to blog yet again and freshly reveal my thoughts into your souls.
And, sorry, they're still about Christian music and church. And here we go again.
See, we just found out we got about 6 new channels via our rabbit ears on our television. . . and as God works, one of them is the "worship" channel - where Jeremy's blog inspiration flows freely out of the tube and into my soul. In an evening of flipping through channels, I saw:
-Michael W.
-Avalon
-Third Day
-Carman
Holy crap, inspiration is back. And I'm so grateful.
And as I watched the infomercial (in shock, disbelief and some shame) for "Songs 4 Life" ("some of the greatest Christian music ever", hosted by Michael W.), a clip of my favorite band Avalon came up as they passionately sang "Testify to Love". And they did their little synchronized hand raising and passionately "got down" to the song while dressed nicely in front of a large, caucasian middle class audience. . . .like all Christian musicians do. I horked in my mouth. . . .but swallowed it down. I'm better now.
Christian musicians reveal more about the gospel to me than almost anything else. I watched this little commercial - and, completely judgmentally, I thought to myself: "if they weren't outfitted with nice clothes, and if nobody came to that concert, would they still sing the same lyrics to the song?"
In other words, I just find it hard to believe a lot of Christian musicians in their witness for Christ. I don't trust them, because I'm living a faith that is at times not strong. I still struggle with stuff. I believe in Jesus and want to follow Him - but it's made difficult when I don't always like myself, I don't always treat my family well, I get discouraged and lose sight of Christ. So as they sing their inspirational Christian music, I say "the heck with this crap" because life just isn't that cheery all the time. Testify to love? Seriously? "OF COURSE you testify to love" I think to myself. "You are wealthy and famous and celebrated by a large group of people that paid money to come hear you sing!" Testify to getting cussed out. Testify to nights of little sleep. Testify to letting your kids down and messing up as a dad and husband.
Where is my heart in all of this? Dealing with a degree of discouragement. I need Christ, because the Christian life isn't always happy and glitzy and shiny. And that being said - it's the only place where hope is found, where life is found, where encouragement is found, where love is found. And despite my failings - the dark valleys in life - there's still no place I would rather be than following Jesus. But I'll follow Him without "Songs 4 Life".
Monday, December 3, 2007
Thoughts on my pet peeves
What are your pet peeves, blog readers? I'm here to be a sounding board so you can vent.
-The Spice Girls, Black Eyed Peas/Fergie, and Paula Cole (Dawson's Creek theme song).
-People that say "melk" or "worsh"
-Getting stuck at red lights, while nobody is going the other direction.
-Worship songs that mention "dancing", yet inspire no dancing. This, um, happened 2 times in one service on Sunday in Washington. To think about the congregation in the pews dancing to the music. . . . unintentional comedy. (Oh I feel like dancing". . . .and Jeremy doesn't)
-Christmas songs that mention such time-honored traditions such as "Scary ghost stories and tales of the glories of Christmas's long long ago"
-Big bites of food with dog hair in them
-Random blog posts. . . .(oh crap)
-The Spice Girls, Black Eyed Peas/Fergie, and Paula Cole (Dawson's Creek theme song).
-People that say "melk" or "worsh"
-Getting stuck at red lights, while nobody is going the other direction.
-Worship songs that mention "dancing", yet inspire no dancing. This, um, happened 2 times in one service on Sunday in Washington. To think about the congregation in the pews dancing to the music. . . . unintentional comedy. (Oh I feel like dancing". . . .and Jeremy doesn't)
-Christmas songs that mention such time-honored traditions such as "Scary ghost stories and tales of the glories of Christmas's long long ago"
-Big bites of food with dog hair in them
-Random blog posts. . . .(oh crap)
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