Thoughts on road rage

Driving down I-35 in Kansas City at 5:15 PM is not the greatest idea. Okay, KC is not the largest place on earth - not LA, not NYC, not Seattle - but come on, any city with 2 million people is bound to have traffic issues.

I, in my stylin' van, cruised North toward Liberty, MO, to pick up a love seat - given to us from Ashley's parents. Traffic was actually moving pretty quickly, all things considered. In a 65, I got caught behind a gentleman going 58 - with traffic moving at a 62 MPH clip. Trying to keep up with my wife, in another car, I crept up behind this fine gentleman - closer, closer, closer...then his brake lights flash as he taps his brakes - obviously telling me to back off.

I kindly told him with my arm (no fingers) that he needs to move.

He kindly told me with his arm that I am an idiot and he isn't moving. In fact - he owns the road, and will drive as slow as he damn well wants to in the left lane while everyone else is passing him.

In my mind, I won the fight between us. And yes, I am driving a minivan, which yes, I realize, is about the lamest car ever.

But I drove proudly today...because the manly man in front of me drove a teal Daewoo, and at least I don't drive that. Advantage: minivan

Thoughts on a new obsession (of sorts)

If this blog is truly "Just my thoughts" then you get the good and the bad, the irreverent and reverent, the retarted and sophisticated. Or, maybe never sophisticated. But here is a large element to my recent thoughts:

I can't stop saying "but seriously" after almost everything I say...but seriously I can't. It's quite catchy, if I do say so myself....seriously, it is.

The "but seriously", for me, has its roots in the movie dodgeball, when white goodman (the antagonist) is speaking to a woman he desires to court:

There's no reason we need to be shackled by the strictures of the employee-employer relationship. Unless you're into that sort of thing. In which case, I got some shackles in the back. I'm just kidding. But seriously, I've got 'em.

It's especially effective after a joke. Example:

"Your mom's so fat, she could crush her shadow. . . .but seriously, she did."

A more prevalent use of the "but seriously" can come after a declarative sentence, you simply put on a straight face and say but seriously. Example:

"I cooked dinner tonight....but seriously, you owe me $5 for the food."
-or-
"I really enjoyed our date tonight...but seriously, don't call me."
-or-
"Nice house, it's really roomy....but seriously you need new furniture."
-or-
"Yes, I liked 'Save the Last Dance' also....but seriously, you did?"

Or apologies:

"I'm so sorry for standing you up last night...but seriously, let's break up."

I'm obsessed....but seriously, I can't stop saying it. I even have tried praying lately and I'm not sure God likes my dry humor.

"God thank you for this day. . . .but seriously, it was cold." I'm kidding, but seriously, I prayed like that.